Charles Barkley as Phoenix Suns’ New GM? Best NBA Rumor Ever

The Arizona Republic’s Dan Bickley set off a minor firestorm this week, when he bandied about Charles Barkley’s name as a possible replacement for Steve Kerr as the Phoenix Suns’ General Manager.

I, for one, think that’s a fantastic idea.

Can you imagine how entertaining that would be? This is the guy who suggested that the NBA doesn’t really need refs, except that white guys need something to do.

Growing up in Arizona, I loved Sir Charles back when he was a fat, sweaty power forward for the Suns, winning an MVP in 1993 and taking his Suns to the NBA Finals.

Now I love Barkley as a fat, sweaty analyst for TNT, where he’s gained quite the reputation as a straight-shooter. He says exactly what’s on his mind, no more, no less, and his dogmatic style leaves us as viewers with two options: (1) agree with him, or (2) get the heck out of his way.

Or, in his words: “I don’t create controversies. They’re there long before I open my mouth. I just bring them to your attention.”

Consider, for example, his thoughts on resigning Amar’e Stoudemire. It would be a popular move in Phoenix, but would Charles Barkley give a big contract to the Suns’ best power forward since the Round Mound of Rebound himself was on the floor?

No. N-O. Not in a million years.

“I wouldn’t do it for three reasons,” Barkley said. “One, his knees; two, his eyes; and three, he wants a maximum deal. Now, he’s a terrific player. Don’t get me wrong. But at this stage of his career, he’s never been the best player on his team. That’s not a max player.”

Concise, throught-through, honest—and, admit it, it’s what everybody is thinking. At least a little bit.

Needless to say, he might not be a terribly popular GM, given his propensity for not caring who he upsets. He may not even be a terribly successful one, as I could see him following his substantial gut rather than the sound advice of his assistants.

If you go looking for reasons why you wouldn’t want to hire Barkley, for any position, you won’t have any problem finding them. His playing career was marred by an incident where he tried to spit on a heckler, missed, and spit on a little girl. Post-NBA, he’s famous for his reckless gambling and a 2008 DUI conviction.

But Barkley has made it clear that he’s got the itch to eventually get out of the TV booth, and back in the trenches. At least for the right job.

“I’m ready to get into management,” he told the Boston Globe. “But it’s going to have to be a great situation. I’m not going to give up a great situation for a bad situation. I got a great situation here but I’m ready to be a GM.”

And does he think Phoenix is a good situation? Well, no.

“I don’t think it’s a good job right now,” Barkley said. “But I would listen to the Suns because I love Phoenix. I would listen to (Suns owner) Robert (Sarver) out of respect for working in Phoenix.”

Given the reservations a team would have about hiring him, it’s extremely unlikely that we’ll see Barkley hold the reins anywhere but Phoenix—and only very unlikely that he’ll take charge there. Especially if he makes enemies at the top:

“Let’s not kid ourselves: Just because you have a lot of money doesn’t mean you know anything about basketball. I don’t think (Sarver) made his money in basketball. He made his money in banking. We don’t get stimulus packages in the NBA.”

It’s a shame to get our hopes up when Charles may never be pulling the strings for an entire NBA franchise. But if he ever does?

I’ll be getting a front-row seat.