We’ve all seen that President Barack Obama fills out a March Madness bracket every year. It’s refreshing to see that our Commander-in-Chief is a normal sort of guy, who watches Sportscenter and has his bracket shattered by upsets just like the rest of us. It’s all in good fun.
Right?
Cue the sinister music. A deeper plunge into Obama’s seemingly-innocent picks reveals a shocking, dark underbelly—sixty-four games’ worth of unabashed gerrymandering and political favor-trading. It’s Washington at its Washingtoniest, and our President is in the thick of it.
Here’s his bracket, written in the unmistakable Presidential Handwriting. Take a look at the political implications of just a handful of Obama’s picks, marked in red.
Click the image to see it larger.
1. UNI over UNLV
It’s a little strange that it says “Panthers” here instead of UNI, but Obama looks past that to Northern Iowa’s star Ali Farokhmanesh. He’s Iranian-American; his father played on Iran’s national men’s volleyball team. Obama clearly picks the team with an Iranian connection to bolster relations with Iran—it’s a bouquet of roses sent to Iran’s bearded, wildly-anti-American president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
2. Georgia Tech over Oklahoma State
Easy one. Oklahoma’s senior Senator James Inhofe called Obama “the best liar ever.” Obama’s response, with this pick? An emphatic political middle finger.
3. Murray State over Vanderbilt
Clearly—clearly!—the most powerful man in the world had an inside source on this one.
4. Florida over BYU—no wait, BYU over Florida
It was easy for Obama to pick Florida here, remembering “The Hug”—the time he was scandalously hugged by Florida’s Republican governor Charlie Crist. But on second thought, he decided to reach across the aisle to BYU—easily one of the country’s most Republican schools—to shore up his own bipartisan support.
5. St. Mary’s over Richmond
First thought: Pick the higher seed. Second thought: Give the Gaels some props for awarding Obama a special commendation for community service.
6. Villanova over Duke
One of the most perplexing picks. Reggie Love, Obama’s personal aide (think Dulé Hill in the West Wing) played basketball for Duke. And yet he didn’t pick the Blue Devils? Sounds like there’s bad blood. That, or he’s got his eye on Pennsylvania’s 21 electoral votes over North Carolina’s paltry 15.
7. Kansas over Kentucky
President Obama has been involved lately in a wicked firestorm with Kentucky’s Senator Mitch McConnell over the healthcare bill. Throw in that Obama’s HHS secretary is a former governor of Kansas, and the Jayhawks become a gimme pick for the scheming President.
There it is. An entire political career’s worth of intrigue, power struggles, and political maneuvering—hidden in plain sight, in the President’s NCAA Tournament bracket.
And you think that’s bad? Wait until you see his picks to win American Idol.
(Special thanks to Benjamin H. Chatterton for his contribution to this article).
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