Your Guide To The College Football Bowl Season, Part III

The 2009 bowl season is upon us, and it’s time to be confronted with a fact you’ve worked all year to cover up: you don’t know as much as you should about college football.

You know Texas and Alabama, sure, but smaller teams like  Ohio, Middle Tennessee, and Fresno State are beyond you. You live your life in fear that you’ll be caught in an in-depth football conversation and exposed when you let slip that you’ve always thought that TCU is the name of the organization Jack Bauer worked for on 24.

Don’t worry, we’re here to help.

The following is a guide to understanding the teams and matchups in the bowl games to come over the next few weeks, starting with the smaller, more obscure bowls. If nothing else, it will give you a few sound bites to make it sound like you know what you’re talking about.

If you missed it, check out Part I and Part II.

Outback Bowl, Northwestern vs. Auburn (Jan. 1)

Get ready for a parade of mediocrity – both teams struggled to stay above water all year, finishing 8-4 and 7-5, respectively. Northwestern has the better wins over ranked teams, owning victories over Iowa and Wisconsin compared to Auburn’s win over Ole Miss. Ultimately, it comes down to whether you think the Big Ten or the SEC is capable of producing a better middling team. I think the Big Ten is overrated, but the SEC even more so. Edge to Northwestern.

Sound like you know what you’re talking about: “Since starting 5-0, Auburn’s only wins came over an overrated Ole Miss team and Furman. Yikes.”

Sound like an idiot: “Sure, they played Furman, but remember, Furman beat Georgia Southern this year.”

The pick: Northwestern 33, Auburn 17.

Capital One Bowl, Penn State vs. LSU (Jan. 1)

This is the biggest bowl game outside the BCS, or at least the most-hyped. Both teams strike me as pretenders; Penn State’s biggest win came over Northwestern, and LSU’s biggest came over Auburn. Both solid teams (they’re playing in the Outback Bowl, after all), but for those to be your biggest wins if you’re top-15 teams? Yikes. LSU at least kept games against top teams (like Florida and Alabama) close, while Penn State laid a huge egg in their big games (Iowa and Ohio State). I expect that trend to continue.

Sound like you know what you’re talking about: “LSU might be primed to strike in the SEC next year now that Urban Meyer’s…well, whatever he is.”

Sound like an idiot: “Geaux Lions. I mean, Tigers.”

The pick: LSU 21, Penn State 7.

Gator Bowl, West Virginia vs. Florida State (Jan. 1)

Much has been made out of this being Bobby Bowden’s last game and how he’ll have the team playing out of their minds for him. Yeah, I don’t buy it. If the team were capable of pushing it to another level, don’t you think we would have seen that by now? 6-6 in a mediocre ACC speaks for itself. I expect West Virginia to roll here.

Sound like you know what you’re talking about: “Christian Ponder can destroy you with his arm and with his legs – he’s like Vince Young 2.0.”

Sound like an idiot: “The Gator Bowl? How can that be – Florida isn’t even playing in it!”

The pick: West Virginia 31, Florida State 6.

Rose Bowl, Ohio State vs. Oregon (Jan. 1)

The conventional wisdom is that Oregon’s speed and versatility will be too much for conservative Ohio State. We’ve heard it so much that Oregon is probably starting to believe it. Maybe they’re getting a little complacent. Maybe Ohio State is getting fired up and living off the underdog label. Or maybe it’s legit and we’re looking for Ohio State to lose their fourth straight BCS bowl game. Which do you think is more likely?

Sound like you know what you’re talking about: “Jacquizz Rodgers gets all the hype, but LaMichael James might be the best running back in the state of Oregon.”

Sound like an idiot: “What kind of Mickey Mouse organization would name a team the Ducks?”

The pick: Oregon 34, Ohio State 21.

Sugar Bowl, Cincinnati vs. Florida (Jan. 1)

Both of these teams saw a shot at the national championship slip through their fingers. Both of them have watched their coach abandon them before their bowl game. And, you know, they’re playing in New Orleans. With all these distractions, the game is a complete tossup. In a situation like this, the team that has played better down the stretch probably has the best shot. The one that wasn’t almost blowing games to huge underdogs repeatedly. Yes, that would be the Gators. It’ll be close, but expect Florida to come out on top.

Sound like you know what you’re talking about: “With neither coach returning next year, both Cincy and Florida could take a huge step backward in 2010.”

Sound like an idiot: “Please, there’s no way a Big East team could hang with an SEC team.”

The pick: Florida 24, Cincinnati 21.

International Bowl, Northern Illinois vs. South Florida (Jan. 2)

Both teams come in with 7-5 marks and middling conference records. They look pretty even, so it basically comes down to which team has a better history of showing up in big games. Or at least not choking in them. (Brace yourself, Bulls fans.)

Sound like you know what you’re talking about: “Northern Illinois is one of the best mid-major schools you never hear about.”

Sound like an idiot: “The game is in Toronto? Don’t they call football soccer up there, or something?”

The pick: Northern Illinois 20, South Florida 19.

Papajohns.com Bowl, South Carolina vs. UConn (Jan. 2)

Two teams headed in different directions. South Carolina started hot before falling on their face, losing 4 of their last 6. UConn looked horrible to start, but the death of teammate Jasper Howard galvanized them and inspired them to win their last 3 games. Not only does South Carolina excel in disappearing in big games, but if you don’t think the Huskies are going to win this one for Howard, you’re crazy.

Sound like you know what you’re talking about: “The Gamecocks beat both North Carolina State and South Carolina State this year. Real impressive, guys.”

Sound like an idiot: “It’s still the Big East. Like a team from the Big East could ever hang with an SEC team.”

Stay tuned for Part IV.