Trick or Tressel: 5 Non-Dumb Halloween Costumes For Football Fans

It’s October. If you don’t have kids, you might have forgotten—Halloween is this month.

It falls on a Saturday this year, and the haunted evening is also boasting some sweet college football games: Florida-Georgia, USC-Oregon, Texas-Oklahoma State. But there’s always the threat of getting called upon to take the kids door to door, or at to least attend a Halloween party—either of which would seriously disrupt football-watching plans.

So we’re taking the initiative this year by putting together some legit football Halloween costumes. This way, if you can’t be watching the games, at least your wife/girlfriend/significant other won’t be able to dress you up in something dumb.

Without further ado, here they are in no particular order—five non-dumb Halloween costumes for football fans.

5. Jim Tressel

Jim Tressel, coach of the Ohio State Buckeyes, might be one of the most recognizable people in all of college football—not that people necessarily know his face, but because he dresses one way and one way only. That makes a Jim Tressel Halloween costume easy to pull off.

What you need: White dress shirt, tie, slacks, and of course the most important part, the trademark Jim Tressel sweater vest. In either scarlet or gray.

Bonus if you’ve got glasses and graying hair, but let’s be honest. All you really need is the sweater vest (yep, you can buy the exact one on Amazon), and every college football fan is going to know who you are in your Jim Tressel costume.

4. Bill Belichick

Bill Belichick, the New England Patriots’ coach, is perhaps even more recognizable than Tressel by his attire—though two men could not dress more differently. While Tressel never has a button undone, it might not be a huge surprise to see Belichick dressed in a burlap sack while coaching Tom Brady on the sidelines.

What you need: A grey New England Patriots “equipment” hoodie (yep, Amazon’s got you covered here too with an exact match) and a pair of scissors. Cut those sleeves off. Belichick produces enough heat with his brain to keep his forearms warm.

Note: There’s a temptation with the Belichick costume to make it all theme-y, and carry around a video camera as a spygate joke. Resist this.

3. Joe Paterno

Joe Pa turns 83 years old this year. He’s been coaching the Penn State Nittany Lions for 43 years. He’s old—83! Really!—but he’s still got it.

What you need: Despite being one of the most recognizable faces in college football, dressing up as Paterno is tricky because his sideline attire isn’t anything remarkable. If you’re already old, you can get away with just adding a Penn State windbreaker over a shirt and tie.

If you’re not already old, I’m going to recommend the Dead on Arrival Old Man Halloween Mask. Sorry, Joe.

2. Michael Crabtree

To be San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Michael Crabtree, you don’t need anything special—just show up when the party’s already half over.

1. Big Red, the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers Mascot

Big Red is the Western Kentucky University mascot, and let’s be honest. He’s the coolest mascot in the history of mascottery.

Wikipedia describes him as both a “red cartoon-like character” and a “red, furry blob.” Both are correct. WKU’s own website calls him a “huge, furry, lovable creature,” driving home the fact that nobody has any real explanation of what he is, other than “red”.

What you need: I actually have no idea what it would take to make a Big Red costume. Probably a fair amount of sewing prowess, plus structural materials, etc. It looks like no small project.

But if I were to see someone actual make the Big Red costume happen, I’d give them a standing ovation on the spot. That’s a serious college football fan costume. In fact, if anyone manages a Big Red costume for Halloween, send in a picture and I’ll feature it here on the site.

Remember—your alternative might be going as Peter Pan. Plan your costume now.

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